Cheryl Waters

Good morning and thank for joining us on The Midday Show with Cheryl Waters. Today we’re focused on mental health on our Music Heals Day. We want to hear your stories about how music helps you during tough times. Reach out to us directly at DJ@kexp.org or 206-903-5397. -- From Liz in Seattle: Loving the mental health playlist! Would love to hear Good Days by SZA - that song got me through 2020/2021.

From listener Ashley: Last spring, I started having panic attacks at work, at the company I had been putting everything I had in myself for nine years. This kicked off my first serious bout of depression and anxiety, and resulted in me leaving the job so I could take care of myself. I had a lot of anger and regret. It felt like a bad breakup, not only with the company, but with a version of myself. During my time away from work, I started focusing on the version of me that wasn't reliant upon work for an identity or worth. I had to dig deep. I found myself in sound (and lots of trauma therapy). The sound of birds outside my window, babbling brooks in the park, the laughter of my kids, the clink of glasses at happy hours with my friends, the wind on a sunny day, and KEXP. I've started every day listening to the Morning Show while I make breakfasts and school lunches; it pulls away the anxiety, softens the edges from nightmares, broadens my mind, and reminds me I'm not alone in this quest. Thank you for basing me in reality every day and helping in my recovery. If you could play Alanis by Morgan Wade, that would speak to anger, healing, and peace. Or Rocket Man by Elton John. :-)

For Sutton ❤

From our friend Alex: Just wanted to say thanks for today. Also if you could play "Seratonin" by Girl in Red, that would be awesome. I have OCD and I think that's the only song I have ever heard that references intrusive thoughts. OCD is uncommon but also highly misdiagnosed as "anxiety disorder." And people who have it often think they are "bad", or crazy, and avoid talking about it because of the content of their intrusions and the shame associated with it. But we are not bad or crazy. We just need proper treatment and to know we are not alone. If there's an opportunity to mention that, that would be rad. Thank you! I love KEXP so much!

For Jeff in Wyoming: I sent this request earlier without knowing it was mental health day, but it is also rare disease day. As you know, our friends from Portugal. The Man, John and Zoe have a daughter named Frances who is battling DHDDS, a rare disease that has components of Parkinson's, epilepsy and dementia. There is no cure. I also have a special needs child. And the grief associated with raising a special needs child can be overwhelming at times. I think that's exponentially harder for those parents caring for a child with a rare disease. It required us to keep our own oxygen mask on first and keep our mental health in check. Portugal. The Man's newest album Chris Black Changed My Life is all about the challenges grief causes on our mental health. But if we can all take something from it, I would love it if you could please play Time is a Fantasy, where despite it all, little Frances tells us we're not alone when she says at the end, "I got a feeling that thing are gonna be just fine." The album has been a comfort to me and made me cry multiple times. Please visit franceschangedmylife.com to donate to rare disease research. Love you all, Jeff Lander, WY

Jason in Wenatchee writes: Thank you for hosting today's Music Heals day. These always hit me hard and I'm wiping away tears at work, in a good way. When I was a teenager in the '90s, one song that really helped me through some dark days was Bauhaus's "Hope". If you have time, I would love to send that out to all of us parents with totally rational fears about our kids in the world today. Thanks!

From Erin in Ohio: Thank you so much for highlighting mental health so prominently on your platform. I have been a KEXP listener since 2004 and an Amplifier for a while now too. While I've had many mental health struggles over the years, these past few months, they came to a head when I had a psychiatric hospitalization, followed by 12 weeks of partial hospitalization eating disorder treatment. It has been the hardest but most beautiful thing I've ever done for myself and for the first time in a while, I feel excited about what my future holds. I finish treatment one week from today - while treatment has been amazing, I'm excited to return to my normal work schedule - as I've been missing my favorite DJ, John Richards, since I'm in 6 hours of therapy in Ohio while his show is on! I went back to work part time last week and today, I have a day off from therapy and am working from home all day - so excited to hear other listener's stories and to listen to awesome music all day and to know, deep in my core, that I am not alone. Thank you guys for creating this supportive and recovery-based environment. My favorite band of all time is The Wedding Present - I'd love to hear Ringway to Seatac or any other David Gedge song! I hope you guys have a great day! xoxo, Erin from Ohio

Going out to listener Brian today: Really appreciate this day. Can you please play Morning Zoo by Ratboys? I too have suffered from depression and anxiety and tried to self medicate my way through it with drink and drugs. I am not perfect now, a point that should really be emphasized with recovery, but I have found so many more people that have went through the same thing which makes being my true self easier all the time. KEXP is definitely part of that.

For Raymond in NJ: I've struggled to fit in my whole life and only now at a somewhat embarrassingly advanced age am I starting to put language around my neurodiversity (I prefer neurospicy) and the figurative masks I've been wearing for 45 years. The struggle bus finally broke down completely a few years ago but KEXP and music has been an amazing anchor. I'd really love to hear some Built to Spill today, especially Life's a Dream. Spilling in New Jersey, Raymond

Thinking of Jonathan today: Hey Cheryl. Great show as always from the best DJ ever. I got divorced 5 years ago which I never saw coming after 25 yrs and totally lost my mind. Phoebe Bridgers saved me. Particularly me and my dog for some reason. I don't know how she can speak about sadness so well at such a young age. Anyway, thanks for all of this and I hope everyone out there can find something to get them through the hardest of times. Music heals!

Thanks for listening, Rusty. Really glad ya'll are doing another round of Mental Health Music Heals. I've been working on PTSD, anxiety, and depression after years of being unaware of their affects on my life. The acceptance and encouragement from folks like ya'll at KEXP really does make it feel less like a journey to take alone. I'd love if ya'll could play Thinning by Snail Mail. It's been a favorite to rock out to when life gets tough.

Wishing listener Kelly the best. She writes: I have connected with FR’s music since the beginning and think of Scott a lot. I've battled with depression most of my life and the end of this song is always an uplifting mantra for me. "There is a light, there is a tunnel to crawl through. There is love but misery robs you. There is still hope so I think we'll be fine in these disastrous times."

For Al: Good morning! I have been going through a tough time, and although it's much better than it has been in the past for me, it is still a reminder that depression doesn't just disappear. In the darkest times in the past I listened to a lot of Frightened Rabbit. Scott Hutchinson's music always made me feel like I wasn't alone, that I wasn't crazy and that there is always beauty to find in the darkest moments. Scott passing away was an unbelievable loss, but I still rely on his music to remember I'm not alone, be kind, and make tiny changes to earth. It keeps me going through the tough times. I found KEXP shortly after his passing and it really helps me feel so much more connected to people and feel like I have a small community who believe in the same thing. I would love to hear some Frightened Rabbit today. Any song but I especially love Living in Colour.

Thinking of Bianca and hoping for a positive diagnosis. If you have time, could you please play Frightened Rabbit: Swim Until You Can't See Land. I've been having a hard year with health issues and today I FINALLY got the MRI that I've been fighting my insurance to have. I'm hoping this will give me the answers I need to get the right care and start healing. I've been appreciating all the musical support today. Thanks so much!

For Lisa on the Big Island: I've been a KEXP listener since the KCMU days, and I moved to Hawai`i in 2013. I left Seattle because of my mental health. I suffer from ADHD which includes its nasty step siblings depression and anxiety. My mental health issues emerged when I was in college but the 1980s weren't very accepting or advanced in terms of diagnostics and treatment. I was diagnosed with depression during my first hospitalization in 1990 at age 28. I just turned 62 last week, and I never expected to live this long. I have struggled mightily to not end my life on several occasions. I knew if I remained in Seattle, I would end my life. My anxiety was so overwhelming, I could no longer deal with the crowds, I wouldn't drive, and I didn't want to leave the house. I moved to Hawai`i so I could swim year-round and get away from the crowds. I moved to the big island because it is as far from a city as you can get. My mental health was stable for years until a couple years ago when I …became suicidal. Even though I was no longer taking the anti-anxiety medication, I was still suicidal and in an abusive living situation. I checked myself into the local hospital and was discharged after only a couple days, still suicidal. To complicate things, I became homeless after I got out of the hospital. I was in very very bad shape. Fortunately, I have an excellent psychiatrist who got me into an intensive outpatient program. This program has saved my life by giving me tools, not pills, to use to help control my anxiety. I still don't want to leave the house but have to for work. Music is such a huge part of my life and self-care. I almost always have music playing wherever I am. When I moved to Hawai`i I missed KEXP so much. There are no alternative radio stations on the big island. Then, KEXP started streaming online and shortly after had an app for my android. I was connected to music again. Before this last decompensation, I was the happiest I have ever been in my life. I was living the dream. Then COVID hit and changed all of our lives. Throughout the COVID pandemic, I listened to KEXP all day every day. Y'all were amazing and helped so many of us through such a horrible time. Since I was so far away, it was especially helpful to hear the djs talk about how the pandemic impacted Seattle. I was so worried about my friends Martha and Shelley, owners of the Wildrose Bar. I have so many favorite KEXP DJs from years of listening but I would rush home on Friday evenings to catch Michele Myers’ dance show. Because we are three hours behind you, I get to listen to Cheryl Waters. Turns out we grew up within miles from one another in South Miami. Then I get Kevin Cole to close out my work afternoon. My go-to song when I'm struggling is Don't Give up, Peter Gabriel's sung with Kate Bush. With this last bout, everyday I listened to Natalie Marchant's new-ish song Big Girls feat. Abena Koomson-Davis. I glommed on to the refrain, "hold on." Local boy Israel "Iz" Kamakawaiwo`ole's Somewhere Over the Rainbow is just so beautiful it always inspires… When I am well and at my best, I am able to sing and dance. It has been a long time since I have been able to sing and dance but am going to get there again. Can you give a shout out to the Queen's IOP gang? They are amazing and have saved my life. KEXP keeps me going. Don't stop.

For Erin: My seven-year-old son is starting treatment for ADHD and it’s bringing up underlying anxiety and obsessive behaviors. We’re in the early stages of finding the best treatments and have wonderful mental health care providers and resources, but this is the hardest thing I’ve done as a parent. Listening to his worries, sometimes terrifying and irrational fears, his concerning comments, then having to make decisions about medication changes and monitor every moment is overwhelming and sometimes heartbreaking. I’m optimistic we’ll find him relief, but this morning was rough, and I just want to lay on the floor and sob. I want my carefree, wild baby boy back. Can you please play Boy Lilikoi by Jonsi? It's him on his best day. Thank you.

For Shannon in Utah: I too have struggled with sobriety on and off for over 25 years. Music definitely heals and has been the soundtrack to my life. Good and bad. I'm so grateful for KEXP and the way you help everyone feel that we're not alone. Thank you so much for being here for me. Can you please play New Radicals, You Get What You Give. It always helps me feel positive and hopeful.

Thoughts going out to for our friend Mark in the UK: I’m responding to your Facebook post from earlier today, calling out for stories on music and mental health. Well, here’s a little from me. I’m Mark Smith, 48, live in Cardiff in the UK, and have been watching the live sessions on KEXP’s YouTube channel for a number of years. If it wasn’t for you, I might not be into Alvvays and Weyes Blood. Cheryl Waters is my KEXP hero. I have bipolar disorder, and have tried to take my own life on two occasions. I now try to live by the motto that music is life, with the Frightened Rabbit line ‘and while I’m alive, I’ll make tiny changes to earth’. Naturally, I’m grateful for the late Scott Hutchison’s music. I cannot go a day without music. If one does pass without music, I know that something isn’t right. It’s effectively my mental health barometer. I listen to music to suit my mood, or make a random choice and see where it takes me. I have worked in the arts and mental health here in Wales, organising festivals and open mic nights. I’ve been a campaigner against mental health discrimination and stigma for many years. Radiohead is my favourite band, with How To Disappear Completely my favourite song. I drew strength from the story behind it, where Michael Stipe supported Thom Yorke. It’s my dream to make the journey to Seattle, and call in to the KEXP studios, as well as everything else that the city has to offer. My all-time favourite artist is Shawn Smith, and I was honoured to have met him a couple of times. Thank you for putting on a day that is dedicated to mental health. Wishing you the very best. Mark

A shout out to Toby and Ben! Must've done something right. My son in college sent me a note: Happy Music Heals Day! ❤️ We both lean heavily into music and especially KEXP when we're down and stressed. Would you please play a song for Ben in Chicago from one of his faves? Bowie. Beach House. Talking Heads. Thx for doing all the amazing things! SO PROUD to be an amplifier. Toby in New York

Thank you, Crystal... I would love to hear Kali Uchis' song After the Storm. I love how there is an acknowledgement that times are hard but after the storm, the flowers bloom. ♥️♥️ I've been having the hardest mental health year that I ever have before. I really appreciate KEXP representing and destigmatizing mental health conditions. This is why I Amplify KEXP! ♥️♥️♥️

For Kristin: Thanks for the ongoing awareness and support of mental health and emotional wellbeing, it's one of the many reasons I've been a KEXP listener and morning faithful for over 20 years. Here's my story and song request for Music Heals... I'm a survivor of decades of mental and emotional abuse. It took so much to see and say this clearly, and it feels scary to share it. When I was a kid, and that's all I knew, it felt chaotic, painful, and "normal." I internalized it and I just tried to hide and survive as best I could. As an adult, it came out in all sorts of effed up ways... anxiety, partying, fighting, pleasing, achieving, and gutting myself for other people's benefit. Things started to change when I became a parent, it was like "wtf?! that's not how you do this." and I started down a long self-reflection and recovery path. I was going to create something different for myself and my family. Bent and broken, my inner scaffolding was still standing and I moved forward from there. Through therapy, community, learning, parenting, family, friendship, art, hiking, music, and trusting myselfing I can proudly say I thrive now most of the time. The dysfunction still exists, but I don't spiral into it as much, less and less every time. I have and hold boundaries for myself and my chosen family. My work now is to help others build up their inner scaffolding and layer on their joy, their values, curiosity, growth and get to their own state of self-compassion and strength. Music, and KEXP, have been a big part of my recovery and support system. Thank you. I know I'm not alone. If I could pick one song for Music Heals it would be Float by Janelle Monae, my aspirational mental state and inspirational anthem for my path ahead.

Thank you for all that you do, Cricket: As a school psychologist in a local high school, I want to thank you for dedicating this day to talking about mental health. The number of youth with debilitating levels of anxiety and/or depression has skyrocketed in the past few years. These dynamic and brilliant young individuals, who have their whole lives ahead of them, so often feel helpless and hopeless. I had my own mental health challenges as a teen and thankfully, had the most amazing psychologist ever to help me through it. She inspired me to be a psychologist so I could possibly help others the way she helped me. One of the most difficult things about mental health is that it’s not a linear journey and it rarely just disappears. Instead, it’s a constant (and often illogical) journey of peaks and valleys. I always encourage students to find music that can help them through the valleys of life because as you say, I truly believe that music heals. Two of my go-to’s are Bridge Over Troubled Water and Look Up by Joy Oladokun, if you can squeeze either of these in. Thanks again, KEXP!! -- Also for Tomás: met the most amazing guy at university. Our love of music was our initial connection. He became the best friend i have ever had. We were roommates for a couple of years. Then I moved to Germany and he would send me mix tapes (it was the 90's) He turned me onto numerous bands expanding my already vast musical library. He was my personal KEXP! I had bipolar disorder (but not yet diagnosed) and I would suffer severe depression at times. His tapes would arrive in the mail and it would pull me up to a point where living seemed life was a good idea again. Tragically he took his own life 13 years ago. That Completely devastated me. I was near the same situation, but his death drove me to make an appointment with a psychiatrist who gave me diagnosis of bipolar. I was medicated and life got so much better! I still miss him. Whenever I hear a song we loved together I think of him and that makes me happy. Music matters. Thanks for letting me share. A bridge over trouble water surmises our relationship! Perfect timing!

We appreciate you being here, Kahren... I felt compelled to share a story with this community that means so much to me, given the opportunity of Music Heals: Mental Health. During high school and college, I was in an abusive relationship. A lot of my own qualities that I appreciated were used against me and I lapsed into severe bouts of OCD and insomnia. I eventually left my girlfriend, but I was left feeling adrift and broken in the aftermath. Since then I've put myself back together. It took a long time, and music became an essential part of healing. My little brother, who is a musician, shared so many wonderful new songs with me, and I've come to realize that sharing music with friends and family allowed me a safe way to connect with others. In moments of doubt or sadness, I could rely on music for comfort or inspiration and joy too (there are few things that make me happier than a drive with my brother, windows down and blaring our driving playlist!). Eventually our music sharing led us both to KEXP, and the wonderful community that surrounds it. The live performances became the soundtracks to hundreds of my architecture school all-nighters. Last summer, during our first visit to Seattle, we made sure to take a pilgrimage to the KEXP Studio! After a time where I felt so placeless and lonely, hearing the phrase "you are not alone" so regularly means more than I can articulate. I appreciate all the work that everyone at KEXP and in its community do. It results in so much love being reflected into the world and it makes a difference. I know it did in my life. If you could play You Lost Me There by George Clanton at some point on Thursday, it would truly mean the world to me and my brother. Thank you so much for all that you do! With endless gratitude and love, Kahren

Thanks for your support, Mike: Hi there. Mike in Chicago reaching out to say how moved I've been by the stories shared today by other listeners. Another reminder we are all bound by our love of music and its power to heal and enthrall us. My mom died nearly a decade ago but I think about her every day. While driving downstate to take her to pulmonologist appointments, I found myself mesmerized by then recently remastered issues of Grateful Dead live shows, which surprised me at first because I was decidedly anti-Dead in my Black Flag-loving 20s. Listening to the Dead's music from the 60s and 70s became an obsession. On my mom's last day, her lungs were failing and doctors replaced her breathing tube with a full-face mask. Yet we spent the afternoon laughing, bickering and reminiscing. I got to tell her how much I love her. When I left the hospital that night I told her I would see her after returning from my best friend's wedding. As soon as I got in the car, I knew I needed to hear Box of Rain. The lyrics meant so to me in that moment. Early the next morning, as I was waiting for a cab to the airport, my sister called to say mom had died during the night. My reaction was mostly relief rather than grief. Mom would no longer suffer. She left us with her mind and her wit as sharp as ever. I appreciate the community KEXP fosters and the self-reflection music inspires. Just doubled my monthly Amplifier donation to $20. Thank you for all you do. Could you please play Box of Rain?

Wishing the best for Bethany and her mom... Hi Cheryl, been listening to KEXP for 13 years and always appreciate the station's commitment to the mental health cause. I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety for many years now, but even more so this past year. I made the difficult decision to leave Portland, a city I totally love and had an incredible sense of belonging in, to move closer to my hometown so I can help my family (my mom lives with progressing Parkinson’s disease). I miss the PNW with its beauty and culture so much it aches, but mostly am really missing my friends there, including one who was recently diagnosed with a terminal illness. KEXP always lifts my spirits on the hard days, particularly John in the morning and you with Midday Show. Since I am missing my adopted hometown and the people there so much, could you please play Alameda by Portland’s own Elliott Smith?