John Richards

"At 25 years old I was homeless in my hometown of Phoenix addicted to heroin. I begged for money each day to try and scrounge up enough money to get my fix for the day - Multiple rehabs and multiple attempts at sobriety underneath me I was destined to live that life forever... I knew I had to leave this life or I would surely die... I remember so many nights adjusting the antenna all over the place to pick up the signal. It was always worth it in the end because KEXP always played music that made my heart fill up with joy. That sense of love that came with discovering a new song that KEXP played was like no other. I still have the mini notebook filled to the brim with songs that KEXP played that I had never heard of. I am a graduate of the program with over 2 and a half years of sobriety under my belt. I currently work for that program and every drive into work I have KEXP tuned, now with no adjusting of the antenna."

Chris Cornell filling in on lead vocals for this Layne Staley-penned song that was written partially about Staley's drug addiction

Oh come and shake me till I'm dry | Oh I wish that I was sober | Oh come to me and kill the night off | I wish that I was sober

If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, we have a list of resources available to help: bit.ly

"Rhys was my dear, dear friend. My confidant, my colleague, my partner in crime... I knew his struggle with staying afloat and I, the psychotherapist and hope filled dreamer couldn’t save him, my friend. I couldn’t stop the cycle or touch the dragon of addiction that was eating him, devouring his spirit and eventually, kill him. Rhys was 56 when he was found dead in his apartment 4 years ago... At his 50th birthday, he performed a monologue for the guests on the struggles of his sobriety, themed by “Don’t Dream it’s Over” by Crowded House. He was newly sober again, dedicated to hoping for a fresh start and healthier future. I still can’t hear this song without thinking of that day and seeing his beautiful goofy face naively making lofty promises. And I can’t help but pray that maybe…he finally has freedom within, freedom without. No one is alone in this." - Carol

You're tuned in to Music Heals: Addiction and Recovery here on The Morning Show. We'll be sharind your stories and songs about the struggles with addiction all day here at KEXP. For a list of resources to help you or someone you love, see this link: bit.ly

"Last year, I listened to the entire day of this Music Heals session. I listened to it on streaming archive until it expired. There was so much inspiration and community and strength and love, I thought for sure it would spark enough will in me to kick my dependence on alcohol. I listen again, feeling no worse, but no better, about my fixation with substance. My mother, my sister, and me, have been challenged with substance our whole lives. Like so many others, I wake up each morning thinking that it will be different TODAY. Today is the day. But it hasn't come yet for me. But I'm not going to give up. There will be a day for me. I'm sure Don't Give Up with Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush is in the plan for today. The one lyric that always reflects how I feel about my struggles is: I was taught to fight, taught to win. I never thought I could fail. Thank you so much for making sure we never feel alone." - Don't give up, Jessica <3

I was better than I felt in years | Then I looked to the streets and I looked to my fears | I know the something was going round these tears | I was hurting people, so close to me

We can be there for tweaks and repairs | Should you come back home | We got open arms for broken hearts | Like yours my boy, come home again

"By my early 30s, I found that I was using drugs like cocaine and ketamine at more than just the occasional party or music festival. For a year it came to the point that on some nights I would get high alone. Then I went to a 2 week festival which ended as a bad trip - not my first or second time having this kind of experience but something I though I had outgrown. It was a combination of drugs, sleep deprivation, not eating well, and stress which resulted in a falling out with a good friend. I was amazed at my immaturity and realized it was time for a change. On the drive back I listened to Spirit Road by Neil Young which resonated with my circumstances. I admire that Neil Young was able to share his struggles with addiction so publicly. Hearing his accounts through songs like these strengthened my conviction to improve myself. I've been off hard drugs for almost 2 years now and I've patched things up with my friend - life's much better without that vice."

"There are so many people who struggle out there - and so many of them are alone. I was very fortunate to have a best friend who never stopped fighting for me. In the darkest days of my addiction, my best friend Jenny, did the leg work, jumped through hoops, tracked me down, picked me up and delivered me into an inpatient rehab facility. At the time she had 2 young children at home and yet she still made the time to find a facility that would take me in immediately. I can honestly say I don't think I would be alive if it weren't for her. That was 11 years ago and I have never looked back. I am a healthy, happy, mother of 2 myself. And I owe a great deal of my life to her. These days I am on the other side of the coast in New Hampshire and she is in Seattle, but we reconnect during the morning show when we hear our favorite songs. If you can play, "I Would For You" by Jane's Addiction - that would be awesome." - Thank you for sharing this, Jeni <3

"Earlier this week I was fortunate enough to be able to celebrate 2 full years of sobriety from alcohol dependence that had stagnated my growth and complicated my recovery from severe PTSD for over a decade. The healing process has made me feel vulnerable, raw, and often very unsure of myself— but I still wouldn’t trade it for anything. Removing alcohol from my life triggered a gradual unfolding of self-awareness that has snowballed into so much insight my repression was preventing my from accessing for too long. No matter how much discomfort I feel or how many bumps I come across during this transition, I know it is happening for a reason— and it’s leading me to increasingly better tomorrows each day I continue to abstain." - Charlot, thank you for sharing with us. This one's for you! <3

"I’ve been sober for 20 months but the issues and emotions I have failed to deal with for the last 20 years have not gone away. As the issues fermented over time my coping mechanisms grew more toxic. It all culminated two years ago with one visit to detox, two stints at rehab, and one visit to the psych ward all within 2017. I have felt a tremendous loss of control of both my life and the world at large. The post acute withdrawal symptoms and learned behaviors have left me paranoid, hyper aggressive, bitter, and reeling with hypotheticals of self preservation that never come to exist... There is hope and practical steps that have been taken to heal but there is a deep anger that is covering something up. This is a long road and I am very tired. I bow my head to those struggling and to those helping and seeking to understand." - Thank you Matthew, you are not alone <3

"32 years clean clean and sober. Long road but wouldn't trade it for anyone else's life. Every scar is part of our story. Please remember how many of us have survived. Could you play Kendrick Lamar's Swimming Pool (Drank)? Written as a description of his battle with alcohol, it ironically became an anthem FOR drinking for some! But when you listen, you'll hear the desperation of a life as an artist always surrounded by alcohol in the fame game."

This morning, I woke up | Feeling brand new and I jumped up | Feeling my highs, and my lows | In my soul, and my goals | Just to stop smokin', and stop drinkin' | And I've been thinkin' - I've got my reasons | Just to get by, just to get by

You're tuned in to Music Heals: Addiction and Recovery, a day of programming devoted to sharing your stories of the struggles with addiction. If you or someone you know needs help, we have a list of resources here: bit.ly

"Thanks for the opportunity to share my story. I won’t be able to listen in on Thursday because that will be my first full day at a hospital that treats trauma, PTSD, and related issues. I’ll be there, off the grid, for a month more or less. We all know that struggling with PTSD can lead to alcohol and drug abuse. I am no different. My trauma is called Developmental Trauma, that is, trauma that occurs from birth up to about 3 years of age. And, it’s not always abuse related. In my case I was born with a cleft lip and cleft palate. I had four surgeries before age three. I was separated from my mother much of that time who was caring for my 3 year old sister 200 miles away. My condition went undiagnosed for 62 years. Meanwhile, I was self-medicating to defend myself against nightmares and panic attacks. I’m a musician, and music has been a healthy way for me to cope. “Three Little Birds” by Bob Marley is a very comforting song for me."

"I made it to 50 today - I’ve been through a lot and there’s one song that’s been with me for a long time which reminds me of how far I’ve come... Please could you play "Clean" by Depeche Mode" - You got it Chris, this one's for you <3

"I was in an extremely isolated, hopeless and demoralized place in life when I came into 12-step recovery in May 2016... At my third meeting, I overcame another insane urge to immediately leave the room without talking to anyone following the meeting, but a clear awareness dropped in that I HAD to at least shake hands with someone next to me. This man ended up becoming my sponsor and took me through the 12 steps, which have without a shadow of a doubt transformed my life and made me again connected to others and useful in ways that I couldn’t have imagined for myself nearly 3 years ago. I simply wanted to leave Pullman, WA not in a body bag, and what I was given was a new outlook and a radically better life, due to taking some simple suggested actions. "High to Death" is a deeply meaningful song to me because as I was sitting on the steps of a church in Moscow, ID during a meeting to decide if I would ask this man to sponsor me, I knew the countdown clock on my life was ticking down."

This one's for all you that are the someone, or need the someone to lean on today <3

"I started drinking at 7 years old. By 2012 I was an outwardly successful 20 something, but in inner turmoil... I was in a recovery program and was driving to meet my AA sponsor. I decided I didn’t want to, it was too hard. In an act of defiance, I decided that I needed to drink. I can’t explain to you how strongly I had decided this. I went to turn my car in the direction of a bar in Fremont. But I never did get that drink. Suddenly KEXP had started playing “Starting Over” by Macklemore. I had never heard this song or this artist, and I couldn’t understand why a radio station was playing something so intimate, and so uniquely directed at me. It was the defining moment in my sobriety. I was angry at this clear message, but also so grateful. Since that day, KEXP and Macklemore became a huge cornerstone in my recovery. On May 19th of this year I celebrated 7 years of sobriety. My life is totally different, I am totally different. I have always wanted to tell KEXP this story."

A lot of requests for this one today... for a list of resources on how you or someone you love can get help for addiction, please see this link: bit.ly

"The moment I knew the tide was starting to turn was when I realized I was dancing. After more than 12 years of drinking all day, hearing and seeing things that weren’t there, and becoming totally isolated from the world I woke up angry. I didn’t want to die that way. I should have gone to the hospital, but I detoxed in meetings. The anger and pain was unrelenting. I wanted to tear my own skin off for weeks. My best hope was to become sober and sad. I just didn’t want to be anyone else’s bad memory. As the days started to add up I realized, with help, that after constant violent trauma as a child and young adult I learned to survive but I never really learned to live. I had to do the whole program and forgive. My addiction was my responsibility and I could no longer say I can do what I want because of what happened to me. I had to forgive. The best saying I’ve ever heard in recovery is “Resentment is like drinking poison and hoping for the other person to die..."

"... Recovery is hard and I needed a lot of help. I was sure no one gave a damn about me anymore. I was wrong. There is no wrong way to get sober but if you hear this please don’t do it alone because you are not alone. After deleting the suicide notes I found myself listening to KEXP and Prince came on and at some point I realized I was dancing. Dancing. I am so grateful for getting a chance to live. Life has been become beautiful. Thank you KEXP for doing these shows. I put them in my calendar every year to feel connected to my people and remember where I’ve been and the limitless possibilities of today." - Thank you so much for sharing this with us, Matt <3

"Music is incredibly important to me and is something that can lift me up when all else seems pretty bleak. I'm glad to have discovered KEXP a couple of years ago as it is an incomparable source of great music, both old an new, to me. My step-father committed suicide some 20 years ago, an addiction to pain killers most likely being a large contributing factor. I'm now myself step-father to a teenager going through at-times severe mental health issues. These and other events probably had me experience various degrees of depression and anxiety as well over time. Through whatever means, you just have to keep your head up and persevere. There's always a way to get help." - Bill, this one's for you <3

"My story and my life used to be defined by addiction, something which I see a lot of in my Native American community. Addiction took the life of my younger brother, who was an amazing musician and the lead singer and guitar in a heavy metal band from Phoenix. His talent was unfathomable. His death made no sense to my dad and I (our mother had already passed). But only because we were powerless to stop it. They say that for an addict, taking a drink or drug is like stepping off a roof and expecting to fall only one floor. Like many musicians, for my brother suicide was the ultimate answer to his pain... The same kind of desperation and pain that ended my brother’s life was something that had taken me to the point where I knew I would do whatever it took to stay alive. Recovery for me is a community and recovery is something that works best when shared with others."

From the new Lumineers album set to release on September 13th - watch the powerful video for "Donna" here: www.youtube.com

The video for "Gloria" follows the story of the fictional Sparks family and their struggles with an alcoholic mother. Find all the videos for The Lumineers here: bit.ly

You've been tuned in to Music Heals: Addiction and Recovery, a day of programming we're devoting to the stories, struggles, and songs of those dealing with addiction. You are not alone, and we have a list of resources to help here: bit.ly

"I've recently got through a long and arduous battle with substance abuse. One song I have always identified with is Catherine Wheel's "Heal". It is a constant reminder all of us need someone to live by and love. My sense of connection with my family and friends has been the saving component for my life and I know now that I'm not alone nor will never be" - Thank you for sharing with us Gerald, this is for you <3

"Writing in appreciation from a cloudy, Seattle-like morning in Joshua Tree, CA! I'm a long time resident of Seattle, where I did a great deal of my partying and drinking, always under the guise of seeing shows or "everyone parties like this". After moving to the desert 5 years ago, I started to work on getting sober. I wake up this morning with a little over 16 months totally clean & sober from all mind altering substances, with my career on track and half way through a master's degree in social work, planning my vacation to Seattle this summer. Life is still life, but staying sober allows me to handle it. It's beautiful, isn't it!? Can you please play Song for Zulu by Phosphorescent? It was my go to song in the early days of my first attempts of sobriety; the song I used to blast as I drove through the desert contemplating life. And it's a song I send newcomers when they're struggling."- You got it Suzanna <3

"At my lowest point I was living in a house by Green Lake with seven other people and a Winnebago in the back yard, barely making it to work and spending the majority of my time in the basement drinking and doing drugs. A friend who lived there moved out and got sober. I paid attention,and watched what he did... I've continued to work on my own recovery ever since, and now am a mental health and substance use counselor with the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation... It wasn't always a smooth journey. I remember a time early in recovery when I was riding the bus home and I felt like nothing was going right in my life. I started to despair, when Ghost by Neutral Milk Hotel came on KEXP. It gave me goosebumps and made me feel that everything was going to be OK. It was exactly what I needed at a dark hour in recovery. Thank you for that moment and all the stories today. If you can fit that song in, I'd be most grateful."

"This goes out to all of the significant others whose chosen love is battling addiction. To the spouses who have to dig deep and find the love in the dark. To the parent who has to protect their children from someone they love dearly. To those trying to navigate these waters with love, empathy, understanding, while still making decisions and drawing boundaries you never thought you would need to do - yet few examples of how that’s done. If you are in the throes of it now - please know you are not alone. It was an incredibly difficult few years. Every morning I would play this song as loud as I could on my way to work to remind myself that I have the power within to do this. Every story is different - but my husband has now been sober for 8 months. He is back in our lives. There is much to still figure out - but it CAN be done. Be true to yourself"